SAFETY FIRST

A man from the electricity company. Health and Safety eat your heart out.

Stormy Weather

An article in the Bangkok Post. Hua Hin is about 26 kms from us. Sam Roi Yot is where we went last Sunday. If it had happened before I wouldn't have been in so much pain.

"In Prachuap Khiri Khan, waves of up to four metres yesterday eroded about one kilometre of the coastline at Thung Pradu coastal village in Thap Sakae district. The waves also damaged several houses and shops.

Deputy Prachuap Khiri Khan governor Apinand Chantharangsi said the province yesterday declared Hua Hin, Sam Roi Yot, Kui Buri and Thap Sakae districts disaster areas"

Christmas Day

Spent the day on the beach. It was wild out there. Waves crashing, wind howling and sand blowing in our beer. Still a lot better than listening to the Queens speech.

JUST RECOVERED

Last Sunday while our friends were here we went to Phraya Nakhon Cave. Normally we would take a boat to the foot of the mountain then climb 430 metres up then 430 metres down into the cave. This time the sea was so rough we had a very hard climb even before we got to the mountain. Made it again, both ways without killing ourselves. My legs have just recovered, 1 week on. I'm really getting too old for all this. I don't think I will be doing that again in a hurry. I guess once there it all seems worthwhile.

SUCCESS

Hooray today we found 6 cans of tonic. I bought them all, we haven't been able to get them for at least a month. Its so frustrating having 2 liters of gin and no tonic. Cheers. Happy Christmas.

TOILET

I found this in the ladies toilet in a restaurant at Hua Hin.

Guests

We have had visitors for the last week. My liver is quiet pleased they have gone as we have been drinking a crate of beer a night (between 4). We didn't complain at the time but I think we are going to dry out until Christmas day. Two days to go, hope we make it. They come from New Zealand and were on there way back from the UK. Graham received an OBE see pic. As we will never be getting one I'll show his.

BG

When we went away we had to leave BG at the vets. When Dave went to pick him up the vet told him every night he fed him, and every morning BG had upturned the food bowl, food everywhere. If that wasn't bad enough he then crapped on the top of the bowl. That's gratitude for you.

VISA RUN

Well another visa run done. This one I think is the last to Malaysia. All went well until we got to the hotel. Our view was a 40 storey condo block. Not nice. Our journey back was worse. Our train had been cancelled due to (according to the Malaysians) a bridge carrying a train had collapsed. We then, with no assistance for the Malaysian Railways thank you very much, had 4 hours to get to Had Yai. (The first Thai train station across the border) Mission accomplished with the help of a Thai mini van driver and 70 Ringgits. Nobody at Had Yai knew anything about this and at first refused to give us a refund. Job done, 600 Baht refunded. The train was SO old and noisy. No food No DRINK. But like true boy scouts we were prepared, beer and wine in cooler bags. Ha Ha. One worrying thing was that all the train staff were armed. We still don't know what had happened. Flying next visa run.

Post

No post out of Bangkok so HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. Its a lot cheaper this year. Here is our Christmas tree. Its as pathetic as the cat.

Hat

He puts me in a stupid hat with the price tag still on it, and he won't even let me have a sip of beer.

POOR BG

We had to take BG to the vet today. Firstly the vet insulted him by saying he looked more like a pig than a cat. How rude. He has been bitten on the bum by something and had an abscess. He's now at home feeling very sorry for himself. He has to keep the collar on for a week, and he has to stay inside. I may be moving outside as he smells so BAD.

SLUGBUG

We seem to have a new bug that's terrorizing me, its not a very good picture. I didn't want to get that close. They are like slugs with wings. I can't think of anything worse.

Don't do it

We have a big problem with ants. My sister read in a book that vinegar and water keeps them at bay. Not so, I think the ants we had already thought we had opened and 'Fish and Chip' shop and have phoned all their friends. Any more suggestions, not from you though Maureen please.

BREAKING NEWS

Ikea opens in Bangkok. YIPPEE

OUT

All is well today Mr Cook sent them packing at 7.30 this morning. They rented the house for 6 days for 3000 baht and then had the cheek to ask us for a refund. Yeah right.

Bare Faced Cheek

The family that rented the other house left last week to go back to Bangkok, leaving us with a very large electric bill. She also took the keys with her. Yesterday a group of youngsters turned up and let themselves in. So, last night I went to ask them what they thought they were doing. They told me they had rented the house for 6 days and why was I asking. I informed them that the house belonged to us and I asked who rented it to them. Oh they said, a lady from Bangkok. The cheek of it, shes subletting. I think we need to change the locks.

Loi Krantong

After nearly 2 years in Thailand Dave finally pulls. And all she wanted to do was help an old man with his Chinese lantern. Still he was happy.

Shortages

Things are becoming a bit dire to say the least.

No Chang beer.

No wine.

No gin.

No tonic.

No bread.

No milk.

No bottled drinking water.

The government have now decided to cut strips out of the only remaining north/south road to allow the water to eventually run into the sea. This probably means no traffic, which will mean no deliveries. I think we are in for a very lean Christmas. Whats Christmas without wine and a few gin chasers. And all the Thais are worried about is no POT NOODLES.

Food and drink parcels will gratefully be received.

Balls

Today we went with some friends to roll some balls. We didn't know what we were getting into. They made a concoction of sand, rice husks some goop and various other sludge, then we sat there for 4 hours (on the floor) rolling this into balls. Are we going mad, perhaps to much sun. No, apparently they leave these balls to dry for about a week then throw them into the stagnant water in Bangkok and they clear it. I do hope it works because I ache in places I didn't know I had (to old for this sort or work). As it was at Petchaburi University no beer, no gin nothing. But we did get lunch for 20 baht, about 40p. I don't know who shorty is in the second pic but I think his gloves are a little bit big.

Another Bangkok Refugee

This puppy turned up in our street a few weeks ago. We think he's been bought down from Bangkok and got lost. And no we are NOT taking him in.

Bangkok refugees

Our street was soooo quiet at the beginning of the week. Every house now is occupied by at least 10 people (apart from ours 2 people 4 cats). The man across from us (from Bangkok) speaks some English, he said his house is under 2 meters of water, all his belongings are gone. All he has is his family and a few pieces of clothing, two pair of shorts and three t-shirts. HE IS STILL SMILING. The whole street is in party mood. Its like Songkran without the water. Did I say water we are in the middle of the most terrifying thunder storm. Have I mentioned I really hate thunder storms. Joking aside, everybody from Bangkok are taking it in their stride. No problems tomorrow's another day. They will just go back when the water subsides and buy everything over again. Job done.

Anyone fancy a bite

Pumpkin stuffed with custard!!!!

Bangkok 3

Would somebody please tell Ireland they have puddles not floods. This is a street in Bangkok.

Bangkok part 2

Bangkok will soon be empty. The government have advised all residents to leave until the water subsides. I have just rented my sisters house out for a month. I hope shes not winging her way over here as I type. Perhaps I should have asked first?

Bangkok

Today I showed a couple the house across the road. They came from Bangkok, they live in an apartment block on the 3rd floor. They said they need to get out by the weekend. Not because of the water rising that high but the total lack of food and drinking water. Nothing on the shelves of the shops that are open. We have noticed the shelves in our local shops have been getting very bare in the last few days. No bottled water in our shops either. I think people are panic buying. Dave is more concerned that the Chang brewery is based in Auytthaya. Just north of Bangkok, which has been flooded for about 2 weeks. There is NO Chang beer in the shops at the moment. Perhaps he should have 'panic bought' 2 weeks ago.

Parking

Due to the floods in central Bangkok people are moving their cars out of the flood area. There is now no way in or out of Bangkok because they are using the expressways as a parking lot to keep their cars safe. I bet their wives and kids are still at home in the flood area!!!! Only in Thailand. Picture taken from the Bangkok Post.

Storm

Another big storm tonight thunder lightning very very frightening. The cats have broken into the house again, we let them stay. How do they thank us, white cat pees all over the floor. Still I know how she feels, I could do the same thing myself. BIG STORM.

Another gin (or so) should calm me down.

Bangkok flooding

The Thai government decided to drain all canals and rivers into the sea to make room for more rainwater. The fresh water has killed thousands of fish which are now washing up on our beach. Thanks gov. If you notice there are no big fish, they have all been taken. I don't think we shall be eating fish for a long time.

Big Ginges Rescue

BG went missing about 2 weeks ago, our neighbour mislaid him while we were away. I had a thought that maybe he was locked in my sisters house. We went to see but he wasn't there. Then by chance we heard him crying. He was in a yard 3 houses down. Dave climbed over 3, 6 foot walls. No easy when you're old. He found the cat behind a big flower planter. He moved the said planter and put his foot in an ants nest (not happy). After a few swear words (ok lots of swear words) he managed to get BG onto the dividing wall. While Dave was climbing back BG jumped down the same side that he came from. More swear words. Eventually Dave managed to get BG over all walls passing him to another neighbour who was there standing on a chair. What was I doing I hear you ask, supervising of course. BG is a bit thinner but he was trying to make up for lost time yesterday. Three bowls of food and water in 1 hour. Normality resumes.

Good news

Ginge is back. We heard him crying at the top of our road in a derelict house in the yard. He was just to fat to jump the wall. Dave had to get the ladder and climb into three yards to get him out. Daves now lying down. Hes lost some weight but all is well. He is now on his second bowl of food and water. Surprising.

True Love

Well Big Ginge has now been missing for 2 weeks. I think he must have been a bit miffed Dave left him with our neighbour. I do hope he's found a nice new home.

We're Back

Ok after 2 weeks in sunny UK and a week in France we're back. We spent our 2 weeks in England cleaning and gardening. Our vacating tenants decided they would not do any work around the house. Thanks you two. Here's a picture of what we found under the sofa. There was more but my camera was so disgusted it refused to work.

The garden was totally out of control, we did what we could in the time then had to call in a professional, at a cost of £400.00.

BE WARNED IF YOU ARE THINKING OF RENTING YOUR HOME DO NOT CONSIDER THESE TWO PEOPLE. SAM BACON AND MEGAN PLUMSTEAD. We are still waiting for outstanding bills to be paid. I don't think I will hold my breathe.

Where was he yesterday????

Found in the local newspaper.

Visitor

We had a visitor today, a 3 foot long snake. Hope you can see it on the picture. It was just going down a crack between the wall and the pavement.

Market day

Wednesday is market day. I'm glad we ate before we went out. Unfortunately our friend hadn't and had to eat in the market. This is her favourite dish. YUMMMMM

Neighbour

Our neighbour has a 'house guest'. A young Nepali boy. Last night he cooked a meal for us, all vegetarian, there was something that looked like dog biscuits. He soaked it in water than squeezed it out. He was calling it duplicate meat. Very tasty. Then we sat around drinking to much. Our other neighbour came over and believe me we thought world war 3 was about to start. I dont think Nepali and Thai should ever talk again. Keep well away from each other, as far as possible. Lets hope we dont have round 2 tonight.

Nearly forgot

Another present from the best neighbour ever (but I'm having second thoughts now). She bought them for me to wear. In her dreams maybe.

Thai Reggae

Yesterday we went to a reggae festival on Cha-am beach. Thousands of people spilled into our small town. There was about 4 stages for about 12 bands. Were we just lucky of what, every stage we went to there was nobody there, just loud speakers shouting in Thai. We heard NO music at anytime. Everybody was just laying around on the beach drinking and smoking??????? I dont think they had realised no bands were playing. It ended about midnight (from midday). Only 4 people killed and over one hundred injured. Not bad really, I dont suppose the injured really felt anything much. Today they may hurt a bit.

Another present

Yesterday we got some more presents, but we like these. One of our neighbours bought us 5 litres of red wine, a litre bottle gin and 10 cans of tonic water. Shes the BEST neighbour ever.

Good Home Wanted

Good home wanted for this killer cat. It may look cute (the white one) but shes getting us into trouble with our neighbours. She has now eaten 3 very large fish from Mrs Cooks fish pond in her garden. Shes not a happy bunny. P.S we will pay the postage.

Swimming pool

Just kissed goodbye to the swimming pool. Mr C has just come back from Bangkok and we have found out he doesn't own the land. We only found out because we have a letter to say a surveyor is coming to measure up the land with a view to buying it. But from the rightful owner not a pretend one. I'm so pleased we didn't give him a deposit. Is this man insane or is it us?

Present

We were given this as a present today. It is a pink duck egg, Thai style. The brown is really the white, its like jelly. Uck. Please no more presents.

Life's a beach

Ain't it just. Even cats need sun glasses.

OMG

What is this Farang wearing????? I know we were sat in bar bar but we really did see this.

See the gloves its 90 degs.

Embarassing or what

A few days ago ourselves and our neighbours we tidying the road with a few pots of flowers/trees etc. Another neighbour came along and told us to take the huge pots from outside his garden. They were full of dead things. For two days well all worked weeding etc, and today Dave and myself went to bring them down. Out comes an irate Thai lady asking us what we thought we were doing. We explained that Mr Cez had given them to us. He has no right she says, they are not his. The moral of this story is "Never trust Chinese men bearing Gifts". The frightening thing is, this is the man we are trying to buy land from. Oh dear I wonder if he owns it.

Land

We have a brilliant idea to buy some land next to our house and have a pool put in. Yesterday we saw the man who owns it and decided to ask him in for a drink and discuss it. After 8 beers he was sooooo drunk he had to go home for a lay down. So much for our strategy, no more beer for him until negotiations are over.

She's going to kill me

They should both be in prison.

What the

Can anybody tell me what these are?

Back to normal

Ok our guest left about a month ago and we have only just recovered!!! The weather has turned, we have had rain for the last 3 days. Constant rain that is not showers. We are getting the tail end of Tropical storm 'Nock-ten'. Still we are saving on the aircon , we don't need it, its very cold. I wished I had bought some English winter clothes with me. But hey ho! Things are very quiet over here at the moment, just a handful of 'farang'. Which is very nice I might say. No fat farang on the beach in his 'Budgie Rustlers'.

Hes Back

Complete with his nice new collar.

Big Ginge

Well big Ginge is the next cat to disappear. We have just bought him a nice new collar. Oh dear perhaps thats why hes gone!!!

Baby

Harper Seven, thats got to be bordering on child abuse.

The Wedding

Yesterday we went to a Hindu wedding. It was a mixture of people Indians, Nepalese and Burmese. Oh and us. We didnt know the groom but then again neither did the bride. We arrived about 1pm where we sat beside a FIRE and drink sour milk. I cant think of anything worse. The poor groom had been sitting there all morning. We all then went to eat vegetarian curries. So much food. Delicious though. One of the uncles just kept on piling it on our plates. All washed down with water. Then we think the ceremony started. We werent sure. After a few hours of not knowing what was going on we decided to go out of the temple and find a bar for a REAL DRINK. Look at the grooms crazy hat!!!

Found at the top of the road

We feed the stray cats while others feed the dogs. But I think we all draw the line at horses. Whatever next elephants?

Ha Long Bay

Photo doesnt do it justice. Fantastic scenery. This was the boat we stayed on overnight. In the evening we had too much to drink and was 'karaoking'. Its a shame I cant upload a video I took of Dave and my sister singing "Under the Boardwalk". Its hilarious.

Saigon to Hanoi

Decided to fly to Hanoi after reading someone had tried to smuggle hundreds of snakes on the train. All passengers had to flea from a carriage as the snakes had escaped. Our flight was delayed for 10 hours. We werent happy.

Chu Chi tunnels

Went for at look at the tunnels used by the Viet Cong to hid from the Americans. They have made one a lot bigger for Europeans to go down. I went down but when we had to crawl I beat a hasty retreat. Dave went down a bit further but soon came out. I dont know how they lived down there. This is the entrance to one tunnel.

Mayhem in Saigon

Couldnt even get across the road.

Hair cut

I went today for a haircut in Hua Hin. Its ok but I think it would have been a lot better if the gay hairdresser had concentrated on me rather than Dave.

Nightmare on Ratchpree 2

Last night Dave took the second cat to the vet. Got her in the box and into the surgery. So far so good. This morning at 8am he went to pick her up, so he thought. The cat went berserk and escaped into the pet shop. (half is a petshop half is the vet). She managed to get into a small hole and hide for two hours. Dave then came back for the mother cat and took her up to see if her meowing would entice the kitten out. No way. The vet then in his wisdom put the mother cat into the hole. Now both cats are hiding in there and have been for the last 4 hours. Success a phone call to say he had got them out. Dave said the shop is a mess and partly dismantled. So we now have on very sedated kitten and a distraught mother. Hey ho only another 2 to go.

Dont fancy that

This has got to be the best menu entry yet.

Eurovision

Last night or should I say this morning Dave put the alarm on for 2am. It was Eurovision and he was not going to miss it. Even though we could only get it on the radio. Listened to 2 hours of wailing from the rest of Europe (not including Blue). At 4am when they had finished we went downstairs to make tea and a ham, cheese and Branston pickle sandwich. We then went back to the votes. Shouldn't have bothered, we knew the outcome. Well done Europe, as predictable as ever. The best part of the 3 hours? Of course the tea and sandwich.

Cats

Today we took one of the street cats to the vet. Dave made a cat basket out of an old box some string some wire and an old bbq grill. (Blue Peter eat your heart out). Strapped to the bike basket off he went. We have had the mother 'done', no more kittens from her. Only another 3 to go. One a week I think. Bargain price of £10 per cat. Cheaper than dozens of kittens I think.

Plants

We've had a bit of a spend-up today to make our little garden a bit more colourful. We bought a huge Peace Lily, two very large ceramic pots and two large bags of compost. The man told us he could deliver. He did, all on a moped. Not bad eh.

HOT

It was 35 degs in Hua Hin today and if one more Thai boy says to me "its so hot Jan I'm melting", I will do one of them a serious injury. Hope you will visit me in prison.

The Bank

We have just had a call from our bank here in Thailand. Dave today cashed up $500 worth of travellers cheques. "Could he please go into the bank on Monday to SIGN them". Ha Ha NO NO NO

Finally

Well success at last. After a few more bum numbing hours he finally got his two new driving licences, at the mere cost of another £20.00.

New driving licences

Yesterdy we tried to get Daves driving licences renewed for the next 5 years. We rode to Petchaburi (about 30 minutes) thinking it was going to be easy, just return he temporary ones and get them replaced with permanent ones. HA. We were told we had to get forms from the immigration office in Hua Hin, about an hours ride from where we were. Off we go (bums going numb now). Arrived there to be told it would cost about £12.00 BUT he also needed a medical examination and letter to say he was fit to drive. Ok paid the money rode back to Cha-am, another 30 minutes of bum numbing agony. We then went to a doctors surgery and of course couldnt get past the receptionist. But success for a price she gave him a letter certifying him fit to drive, no medical nothing. Today is a national holiday (about the 4th this month) so tomorrow we will ride to Petchaburi again (bums permitting). What I would like to know is how 7 year olds get a driving licence for a motorbike, some of them cant see over the handlebars?

Royal Wedding

Can't get away from it. Its on all English speaking tv channels and on most Thai channels. No good I'll just have to toast them with a few!!! Cheers

Ants

How many ants does it take to carry one grain of rice up a wall?

Ausa

This is our friend Ausa, she and Johnny will be getting married soon. I have already given her a wedding present. She is delighted, Johnny says he doesnt want it. I cant understand it, looking a gift cat in the mouth. How ungrateful.

TAXMAN

Why oh why is the Inland Revenue sending me letters to say I will have to fill out a Self Assessment Tax form when I Do Not live in the country and I DO NOT earn any money. Any ideas regarding these idiots who are wasting tax payers money?

Song Kran

Thai New Year was again WET. Had a real good time at Mr Cooks office. I enjoyed the water fights with guns and the hose pipes, but I think the fireman took it a bit far. You always get one or two that don't know where to draw the line!!!

Third island

On our last stop we had lunch. We also saw this unnerving signpost!!!! More unnerving Dave doing his impression of James Bond.

3 Islands

The next day we had a boat trip around 3 islands, snorkelling swimming and eating. The 1st island was a stop just to snorkel or for the fit a swim round it. Dave did, not me. Our 2nd island was Emerald Cave. We swam through a very dark cave and emerged into a small hidden lagoon in the centre of the island. We were all expecting dinosaurs to be aroaming.

Koh Ngai

After a twelve hour very uncomfortable bus journey we arrived in Trang, just one hour mini-bus ride to the port and another hour by boat, and we were there. Paradise. Hotel rooms were good(see pic), outside bathroom though, mossies, cockroaches the odd ant. But nevermind. The food was to die for.

Weather

The weather seems to be back to normal, very hot and humid. The prfect weather for our old bones.

We're back

After a quick trip home to arrange our visas we are finally back. The weather in England is much better than here. It's cold raining and very windy, and I left my jacket at a friends house. Down south they have had floods, people are being rescued from the islands by the Thai Navy. Mudslides, four metre waves crashing the islands, you name its happening. Now, where do you think we are going to next week? You guessed, down south. Thats if the roads are open and the speed boat to the island is not cancelled. Perhaps we will re-think and go north. Oh no, we can't go north because of the earthquakes. Perhaps back to UK, I don't think so. Its still much cheaper here and hopefully next week it will be back to summer.

Last week

Well its now time to go home and renew our visas hopefully. This year has gone so quickley. The cats that have taken up residence in our garden keep breaking through the fly screen. We now have to put a chair in front of them to stop them charging in. Anyway hope to catch up with you all in the next 3 weeks. Bye Bye

One too many I think

We have just seen the funniest thing. FBS next door has just come out of his house and got on his motorbike. We think he was a bit worse for wear. He started his bike and did a wheelie down the road narrowly missing two young Thai boys playing football. Not bad for a 70 year old. He was half way down the street before he could get his front wheel back on the ground. Oh I wish I had had the guts to video it. I don't think he would have noticed being so drunk.

Another festival

Well another festival is going on this weekend. We haven't a clue what its all about but we will go down to the beach today to find out. Actually we don't care what it's in aid of we are just going to join in. Wether they like it or not.

A gentle walk (he says)

Today we went for a bike ride to a national park just outside of Cha-am. We have been before but it was so over-grown we couldn't get round. But now it has been cleared (of sorts). The gentle walk had us climbing up a mountain for about 500 metres. I had to go most of the way on all fours like a monkey, but with a bigger bum. We got to a cave at the top, believe me it was not worth the hassle. Getting down was something else. It was so steep and a shear drop. I refused. We had to walk the long way round about 2 hours, through jungle, rocks monkeys etc. Never again. If Dave ever suggests another gentle walk you will not see him again in this life. I WILL KILL HIM. As you can see from the pics the views were amazing. The other pic is the mountain we climbed, please take note of the size of the electricity pole.

War

Well Thailand is now officially at war with Cambodia. The latest is 3-2 to Thailand. Everyone says it will escalate, but again we are far enough from Cambodia not to notice.

Alone again

Visitors all gone, normality resumes. Did the normal things went to The Bride over the river Kwai. Thats not a spelling mistake thats how its advertised. Also went back to Auyatthaya, really enjoyable but oh so hot. Spent their last day in Bangkok. I think thats the hottest place on this planet.

Waiting

Jess and co were supposed to arrive at BKK at 19.20. They have just landed 21.35. Only another 2 hours 30 minutes to stay up. Just time for another drink or two I guess. Daves gone to bed already so its just me and the computer. He just cant take it anymore.

Bathroom

Well believe it or not the bathroom is just about finished. Daves up there now putting up a towel rack. If you listen very carefully you will hear the swearing. Its only taken 5 Months. Not bad.

Please Note

This we found between the Malaysian and Thai border at Padeng Besar. Come on be honest, how many of us will be refused entry into Thailand? Please enlarge to read.