A Close Encounter

Well at 7.30 this morning I came downstairs to make some tea. I went and opened the fly screen and the main door. To my horror a "F**k you" lizard jumped from the fly screen onto my arm. There I stood eyeball to eyeball with a 12" lizard. OMG what do I do, SCREAM as loud as I could. It jumped off onto the settee then onto the floor where it hid in the corner. I ran into the opposite corner where I only stopped running in circles to jump up and down a bit. Terrifiying. Dave came down and barricaded it in. All the time the lizard was screaming "F**k you". All the time I was screaming in the other corner. Dave had a broom and an empty box of red wine which he was trying to get it into the box. Success into the box and out the door. Now I know what I have to do, drink more red wine so we have another empty box. What a morning but it can only get better. Hopefully.