So Long

Well its been two months since you last heard from me. Haven't been doing much since Cambodia really. The weather has not been good. Lots of rain and very humid so all we've been doing really is catching up on reading in the air-con. We are going to an island off Penang for Christmas for 1 week. The island is in a rain forest so no doubt we will get eaten alive by mozzies. Still the rain has stopped now thank goodness. Everyone have a very happy Christmas and a VERY MERRY New Year. So all being well (and if we see this day out) speak next year. By the way thank you for all the Christmas cards.

Siem Reap

This notice was on the door of our hotel in Siem Reap. Glad to see the don't allow grenades, and please park your tanks around the back!!!!!

Shocker

All was well in Bangkok just a few floods. The big shock was when we got to the airport. Having paid £200 each  for the tickets to Cambodia, I'm sure we could have bought one of these planes and had change.

Would you Dare

Found in a book store at Bangkok airport. YUM

Good News and Bad News

The good new first, Jess has 2 weeks off school so we are going to Cambodia for 1 week on Tuesday. The bad news is there is a Tropical storm headed for Bangkok on Monday. Forecasts say it is going to flood big time. We are going to Bangkok Monday also (we hope). Maybe flying to Cambodia Tuesday. We may get there a bit quicker than the 1 hour flying time. Then again we may not get out at all. In which case the next blog entry maybe from a prison cell as our 90 days are up Tuesday.  Watch this space.

A Meal to Die For

Yesterday we went out for breakfast. Had my favorite, fried eggs with Chinese sausage and hot french bread.  Wonderful, until I found a STAPLE. The waitress asked did I want another one (another staple, I think one is enough for anybody). No fear. Won't be going back there for some time. In the same restaurant some months back I found a hair in my food. When I pointed it out to the waitress she proceeded to dig around on my plate with her fingers get the hair and then give me my food back. Why do we go there??????

School Accident

A boy at school had an accident he wasn't hurt at all. No blood, no cuts or bruises.
He ran through a glass door. When a little girl, who saw the accident was asked by the teachers what happened she said.
He ran toward the door, he ran THROUGH the door and then he ran on the other side of the door. Cased closed I think.

Have we beaten the UK

To the first Christmas of the year. 18th September. Not bad for a Buddhist country.

Decisions

Couldn't decide yesterday, elephant polo or the last night of crab festival. We went to both. Elephant polo started at 8am at Hua Hin. Arrived at 8.10 (up at 6am) and in true Thai style it started at about 9.30. In my time we would call them "Hooray Henries". Jess said it was like watching "old people" wandering about a pitch looking for something they had lost. Old people to Jess is over 35, don't be offended. But one job I didn't fancy was the one where you wore rubber gloves.

The last night of the crab festival was cancelled due to the bad weather.

Kate

Kate I'm with you girl. If the cheese eating surrender monkeys hadn't chopped the heads off their own royal family they could have taken photos of them topless. But I'm sure they wouldn't have looked so good.

Do you know these men?

Our Thai friends are not happy with farang chopping down trees for their own means. Name and shame please.

AGAIN

Here we go again. But I don't care how many kittens they bring down and leave, WE ARE NOT FEEDING THEM.

Unfortunate

Badly phrased sign I think. So when in Bangkok keep your hand on your snatch.

Or What

Sorry I posted the wrong picture, meant to put this one on. Glad he doesn't read this. Only joking.

Or What

Is this hideous or what?

Back to to the wedding

Noki in the makeup room. TART

What The!!!!

How Dare She

This if Faye, Jess' friend. Not bad for someone who runs inside if she see a bug.

OMG

Snake in the gutter. Ok we have now left the garden.

Tears

Loads of tears at the morning ceremony, all from the GROOM.

Pics to follow.

Money for the Bride

This is what Noki had to pay Cards parents before he could marry her. I think he said 340,000.00 Baht, can't be sure.

Noki and Cards Wedding

Up at 4am. Johnny picked us up at 5.30am Thai time (15 minutes late). Arrived at Petchaburi just in time to have coffee with Nokis parents. Difficult, they only speak Thai and Chinese. We then walked through the streets to the Temple only to sit around for an hour or so before kick off. (Could have had another hour at least in bed). Dave Jess Ausa and myself were ask to help with the carrying of the spirit offerings. Ausa and myself had big tubs of flowers, Jess had a tray of limes and Dave had red parcels. (All he needed was a white beard). Didn't know what was going on as it was mostly in Chinese. Ceremony over, time to eat. 10.30am about 7 courses of REAL Chinese food. No sweet and sour chicken. We tried it all enough said.

Back to the hotel for a rest before the evening party (where Jess and Faye stole both beds). Couldn't sit there listening to them snore so we went out to find a bar. No sleep for us.

Menu

Found on a menu in the Khao San Rd Bangkok, so maybe its not translation problem.

Pre Wedding

We are going to our friends wedding next Saturday, starts at 6AM. I ask you. These pre-wedding photos were taken 2 weeks ago. Strange, notice the brides DRESSES. One for the morning and one for the evening. Expensive I feel.

Believe it or not? 2

We saw this dog in at Cicarda market. IT IS REAL.

The Olympics

Thanks to the Olympics we are now not able to listen to BBC radio. Don't they realise that if we were the slightest bit interested we could watch it on the TV. IDIOTS. I hope all the people outside the UK that used to listen don't tune back in after the madness. I think that will bring the ratings down for the late night/early morning programmes.

Our View

Outside our garden we used to have a piece of waste ground which in the rainy season used to flood, bringing lots of very interesting wildlife. Now they have built up the ground that stops just below our windows. I think now they are re-constucting the Colditz camp. We are just waiting now for the sentry boxes to be built in the corners and the machine guns to arrive.

Not Good News

Its been reported in the Bangkok News that over 10,000 school children have Hand Foot and Mouth Disease in Thailand alone. Many more in the neighbouring countries. Over 22 schools have already been closed, as a precaution they say. I do hope they don't close the schools in Cha am or Hua Hin. That will mean the beaches will be packed and there are a lot more underage drivers on the road.

P.S This disease is not normally life threatening but the underage drivers will be I'm sure.

Pregnant

Last Friday a six year old asked Jess if she was pregnant, No Jess said, do I look fat then. Yes the six year old said. Bearing in mind Jess wears a size 8 UK size. The mind boggles.

BIZARRE SHOP

Is this the most bizarre shop you've ever seen. Come upon it in a shopping mall in Penang Malaysia at the weekend. No hat pins please.

Nick Names

Every child has a nick-name. Here are a few just in Jess' class. Modem (computer nerd), Vegas (gambler), Maple (sweet), Pond (low life), Fluk (no comment), Poo (speaks for itself) and the best JAMES BOND!!!!!

FOOTBALL

Cant say I'm sorry England are out. It's a bit much to be woken up at 1.45am to watch something as boring as that, until gone 4am. Only good point, he did get up at half time to make tea.

Not much going on

Not much happening at the moment. It's the rainy season. It's still very hot in the morning but rains in the afternoon. Very very humid. BUT
What's worse than a spider in your bath? Of course it's a scorpion in your sink.

New Hat

We went to use Jess' swimming pool and Dave forgot his hat. No problem for the balding man, he used Jess' sarong tied the Bear Grylls way.

Boyfriends

Jess has two new boyfriends.

What a Job

A new job for, oh better not, anybody who loves eating. Better than starving on the dole, and you wouldn't even have to get out of bed.

Cold

Jess has a cold so her friend, who is a doctor gave her some meds. She got more in one go that I ever got from Dr Mclean at the Henfield surgery. Thanks NHS.

No Getting Away

Who would have thought. Buddhist country and they are still getting their foot in the doorway.

And Few More!!!

Some More!!!

Delicacies. You can buy them in Macro if you're interested.

Fruity

There seems to be a new craze sweeping Hua Hin. Thai women seem to think its good to walk around with plastic fruit on their heads. Bananas apples even half a water melon. Cant wait to see someone with a jack fruit. For those who dont know who big they are, see pic.

Ha Ha

I hope you don't find this as funny as Jess did.

I Don't Believe It

Last night I was sitting in the garden with a gin and tonic (yes I still have some) minding my own business when a pigeon fell out of the sky and landed "splat" on my head. I pushed it off and the cats all tried to get it. I was running around chasing them off with a broom while Dave picked the bird up and threw it in the air. Fly of die. It flew.

Believe it or not

We were in the middle of a massive thunder storm. Torrential rain and this man is watering the garden. Taken from Jess' balcony so he's a bit far away.

Long Neck Karen

We visited a village of Long Neck Karen. They really do exist. A few pics. The lady in the second pic asked me if I had a mobile. She wanted to "phone home".

Bored or what

This Hippo is just so bored with people watching. Or has he been watching Thai TV. A trip to the dentist may be in order.

Sorry Lawboys

Another bad picture but I'm sure you will get the gist.

Condo

Jess has found herself a condo. Its in Hua Hin 5 minutes from the school. I'm quite envious, she has a large pool  (the times we have been there there has only been us and another couple of people). She is also only about 50 yards from a great beach.

Chiang Mai again

Just got back from 4 days in Chiang Mai. If you are ever up there do go to the zoo. It was amazing. It has been built on hills, and I swear they all went up. We were also told you get the best Thai massage by going to the womens prison where the INMATES have been trained in Thai Massage. We didn't go because we didn't know whether it was a euphemism.

Oh Dear

21st century girl has a close encounter with 1950s technology.

RAC

Having just cancelled our membership with the fantastic RAC, we have been informed, (after paying for the year from January), they do not give refunds. Anybody with RAC membership should be wary. Perhaps the AA. Thanks RAC you have just cost us about £160.00.

HOT HOT

Sorry to all you people freezing and wet in the UK but over here it's just TOO HOT. Sitting on the beach today was just so hot, even the wind was HOT. Apologies but we are MELTING. Back to Hua Hin tomorrow to sort out some more Thai red tape for Jess' work permit. Hopefully that will be the end.

And again and again

Poor Jess was covered in every colour. Unfortunately the red didn't wash off easily.

Noi the manic

Noi gives it Jess gets it again.

Practicing Safe Text?

Noi has finally found a use for that out of date condom.

Back again

After a 19 hour flight delay we have finally made it back. We arrived back in Cha-am about 2pm, quickly changed ready for the water fight for Song Kran. Down to our friends office and let the fun begin. Jess and Noi had an accident with their make-up.